Cold steel, curtains, restraints..

I can hear it. I can hear my footsteps resounding in the desolate halls.

Each step is closer to my last.

Sodium Thiopental, check.

Pancuronium Bromide, check.

Potassium Chloride, check.

The needles are lined up perfectly on the stand.

The lights above me buzz and hum an ominous tune.

Three consecutive drugs,

Separated by a few painstaking minutes.

A saline flush dissects each catastrophic effect into smaller, aggravating ones.

You are all so reluctant to judge and condemn,

That in this particular case you need three people to murder.

Each clueless to the concoction they hold in their hands.

Each unsure if he was the one ready to administer the life-threatening blow.

An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.

Exodus 21:23

You fling your righteous banner of “freedom”,

Yet are too fickle to stand up for life.

Revenge.

A sinister, debilitating word.

Are you pleased that suffering will come to me?

Monster.

Heartless cur.

I am human, scared, shaking

Festering lies.

“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace and help in time of need.”

Hebrews 4:16

Where is forgiveness?

When the drugs paralyze and stifle

Where death comes agonizingly slow

When is revenge justified?

I know I've done heinous deeds,

I know I've cost lives and memories,

But now the “righteous” are kissing their innocence goodbye

And getting their hands soiled with blood.

We are all tainted.

As my eyes become still and dry,

I hope you feel a sense of accomplishment

And I hope you will sleep well tonight

Knowing that you are nothing more

Then a murderer, also.